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The other day

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So, the other day was my birthday. Like any other birthday of mine, i snap some vain photo as my happy pills. I wish I ll be happier this year. I wish I ll be unlocking some new stuff I wish I ll be me as the way I want to be. I wish I ll love me.

Happy 2023!

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🎉🎊Happy new year ,darlings.🎊🎉 Happy 2023, may this is bring us abundance of smiles, love, happiness and positive vibes.❤️ Here is a little mumble on my goal. I hope I can work on my learning drive, get out my comfort zone (or should I say my malas zone) and hit a push button to learn something new. And I hope dont get dismayed at challenging or boring learning process. I have not decided on what will be in the list, since I hardly get interested in new stuff  but yeah, will try to keep you posted.( as if anyone really  read this!LOL) Anyway, Goodluck to me!

The one with Why

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The things is , I want you to feel the agony of losing me from your life. But instead I am the one  who keep compromising my own stand and keep wanting to give you a chance to patch up. Although in reality, you dont want to do so and probably unbothered with whether I am in or out of your life frame. Feeling pathetic , yes I did. Why did I keep busy making efforts and comforts towards those who willingly walking out and letting go? Occasionally I thought, probably they are wishing for my initiative, so put off the pride and handing my hello. To no one surprise I was just tearing the old scar of none other than myself. Again, why? Why the agony is mine and mine alone? Why the memories is so intact  only in mine? Why can I forget as easy as you obliterate? Or actually why do you dont want me as much as I wanna keep you?

Birthdays are something.

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I have always love birthdays Birthdays of people close to me, darlings to my hearts. Once the dates mark in my mindmap, they hardly left. Okai, mayb I missed them when i lost track or time.  As I age, I dont even remember what day i was living in. Routine sucks. Anyways, back to birthdays. On those kind of days,  i ll suddenly remember you. The urge to reach for you to say hi, and let you know I m here even we hardly speak to each other. Especially to those who left  my frame in not such pretty term. Especially to those I had to left due to something something, with they knew bout it or without a single clue of why. I miss you dearly on those day. I miss how I can casually slip in your  inbox and say unfiltered words. I miss how I can suddenly kid you without of having the doubt it might hurt or offend you, or make you misunderstood my gesture. So as much as I love their birthdays, I love my birthday even more. Its kind of depressing to know how I wish those people t...

Black. Just the color.

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I get fascinated with black color all the time. How did one color can sometimes be seen as gloomy, and sometimes sophisticated? Was it because there is some kind of elegance in every darkness? Was it because is somehow sorrow  defined the beautiful soul? It is the color for lazy day, and also a color fit your grand day. Hence, it is true. You never go wrong with black.

The one where I finally take the scissors.

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Hey. I did it. I said goodbye. I m gonna laugh really hard, smirk with love, if one day in the future you casually want to be back in my frame of life. You had casually let me out from yours. It hurts me pretty bad. It scars me more than you ever know. I am gonna naturally move on.  I do wish all the best and happiness for you , but more than that I wish one fine day out of nowhere, no reason and no occasion you will suddenly think of me and realized that I cut you  off because you handed me the scissors.

The one with a big confession

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One of the main reason I keep missing my old  me or my old life are probably that was when I dont think much on what other might say or think bout me. Plus, being me is so easy when it is not related to any other people. My action, my choice of words, my choice of outfits  will be all mine and mine alone. Trust me, there will more things I would say if I am on my own. There will be more things I will randomly do just because I want to. Yeah. I am random like that. Because  I am someone's  wife ,I no longer can be some people friends. Because I am someone's  mom ,my choice of outfits have to cater that image. To certain people, that come naturally. To certain people, it is their choice. To other some, their acceptance of adulthood are widely embraced. But not to me. I struggled. I keep conflicting my choice. I unwillingly tolerate , that keep on making me wanting to go back to being the carefree me. Which obviously can only happen in my mind or probably my dream....

Just A Tale

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Zero people would actually read this. This is the one where I play with words because I like it that way. Remember that seven years ago, I was busy living life? It was fun. I hardly hang out with people more than six because I hate how it can disrupt the flow of the conversation. Usually it is three.  During those years at nine o clock, night hang out were just started. Eventhough just talking, were having fun till midnite . There was this one time,I went to open concert, then hang out at mamak till past five a.m .  Wow that one hell crazy night, we were singing with Backstreet Boyz ,you all. I miss these two. The lepak lepak and me.

hello

Hello. It has been a while. Sometime  I wanted to write. But sometime  I just could not find the right word or words. I have tons of things in my mind. Really. I wonder is anyone reading this  blogpost nymore. I believed and still believing that I write for me. But I could not shake the wish of wanting someone  to read them.

TOTGA

The Robin. Is it you? Or am I yours?

This and that kind of List

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Things I want but the pricetags make me rethink about it more than twice. I can say it for sure if I have the budgets, I definitely  want to buy them( yup, plural). Anyway, as my birthday is coming up,  I m getting more wishful upon these stuff. Need to start on tabung to get  my hand of these items.😂 Lets get to it; 1. Amazfit GTS 2 mini 2. IPL  Laser Hair Removal Handset 3. Ionic cordless comb  All of the items are definitely not essentials. Bukan keperluan tapi keinginan. That is all for this time. Wishlist never dies and gonna keep coming,people. It just that, I feel the contentment listing them, sometimes. You know, I writes because it feels like someone is listening( reading) . Or is it i am finally listening to myself? LOL Lots of winks, Me.

Saying Hi to another April

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Saying Hi to the my favourite month of year. Yup.  April , a whole month of me wanting to create only good vibes and of course a whole month of wanting almost everything for one single reason. I have a long list of things wish. I have all from crucial, essential and nonsense stuff in the list. Hence i start calculating and prioritize things , so the list only ticks on the really-absolute  want- stuff. But most importantly,I wish I gonna a better person, with an even better character this year. I am gonna love myself more and more, for sure. And ok, I will try to write more here, as my space of escapism. Lots of starly star, Lysh💕

Product Review: Primrose E Garden of Eden

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  As shown, I am gonna give my intake on this product. The reason why tried this product was because I need to find  face oil to be used with guasha.  Honestly, I am not sure whether this product fall under serum or face oil. It stated serum on the packaging and the website stated it should be apply on treatment step which is after toner. So I m guessing it is a serum.   Here are feedback on the item; 📌 It has an obvious smell to it upon application but the smell does not linger on.  ( it doesnt bother me as much, as i m used to it by now, but it could be bothering to som 📌 Just apply few drops( probably 2 or 3) and  massage it. It really helps in massage especially with guasha. With this amount, it doesnt  leave your skin feeling oily or sticky. You should adjust accordingly to your preference and skin type. 📌 I notice my skin feel bouncier than before and the wrinkes line on certain area( eye area)  become less visible...

Skincare Talk: Guasha

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Guasha. That hypedly talk beauty tool for the past years. It has been used since the golden days, but it just started getting its fame until recently. I have been eyeing the tool since months ago. I watched reviews, read articles bout it. About how it is better than the famous  jade roller/face roller. Well who doesnt love a facial massage. Not so long ago, I finally get one for myself. The first one I bought lasted with me less than 1 week,as I accidently drop it on the floor. Frustrated by it, I bought my second one in the exact hour. This is some guide on how to use it; So here are my says on the tool; 😘 I love how cute it look aesthetically. 😘 Easily glide on my face( or even body) 😘 Give me the facial spa feeling after every usage 😘 Definitely give that noticeable glow after using it 😘 somehow feels the skin in bouncier and tighter than before( if you know what i mean) Thats the good part. Here comes the rain behind that rainbow; 👿 way too fragile...

Things that sparks Joy

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Getting your wardrobe organized definitely one type of happiness.   For months i ve thinking on how to organize my hijabs/headscarves. I hate folding and placing them in drawer as it is gonna leave marks on them. I prefer hanging them. However hanging them on normal hanger would not please my eyes and not practical for small closet as mine. I finally manage to find a way to organize them in best way to fit the practicality and nice to look at aspects. Check out the photos below; And it  has the push in /pull  out function which is a plus point on practicality. This is from IKEA. It was designed for hanging trousers and pants.  But, it fits perfectly for hanging hijabs. At least my hijabs. It ticks all the criteria for my " how to organize my hijabs". ✔ Fit perfectly in my existing wardrobe ✔ Can see all my hijabs in one glance ✔ No folding marks,can just hang my hijabs ✔ Easy to hang ✔ Easy to take them out ✔ very pleasing to the eyes.😘 This items...

SKINCARE TALK : PHYSICAL vs CHEMICAL EXFOLIATION

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Exfoliation is one of critical step in making sure our skin get the best out of skincare routine. Exfoliation is a process to eliminate dead skin cells which then helps the skin to absorb the skincare products better. With that being said, all the expensive serum and moisturizer wont go to waste. There are two types of exfoliation; physical  and chemical exfoliation. I have made some note based my reading, so let check them out!    I have been using the common scrubs as my exfoliants  because i have never educate myself on chemical exfoliants The word "chemical" kind of sound to extreme for me.  Well, I was wrong! Turns out chemical exfoliant is far more natural and safer option. Though it is slow in giving the outcome but safe is the keyword here. Regardless of both types, remember not to do your exfoliation step more than 3 times per week. Here are links for some reading materials which gonna helps you know more on the topics : https://intothegloss.com/2016/10...

covEID 2020

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Eid Mubarak. Selamat Hari Raya. A little late, but Raya kan sebulan. Who knows there will be a raya where I cant go back to kampung & hug my loved ones. 2020 is definitely different. But still I am blessed for still being able to feel sufficient in may ways. Salam aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.

Tearful day.

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Yesterday I cried. Probably one of the hardest crying I ve experienced.   It started small. It started with just drops of tears running down the cheek. That it get into trying not make a sound crying in the bathroom. I washed  my face. Act normal and continue doing home stuff. Then it get into trembling hand trying to hold of my tears. I get in my room and continue letting go of the tears hoping it will stop. It doesnt. The sadness is overwhelmed. The sorrow and loneliness in the battle wasnt easy and it is getting even darker. As I finally speak up my nonsense reason, tears came running. Like a heavy rain it come down pouring. I got suffocated in my own tears. My ears is buzzing. My steady hand didnt make a comeback. The shakiness get worse, as if my whole body feels it. I cant bring myself to sit down. I feel lonely despite having people next to me. I feel my nonsense can never meet its army hence my the battle is huge yet in silence. I am trying to understand my...

Happy Birthday To Me

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I am officially 23 years young with 10 years experience at being so. Happy birthday to me! Alhamdulillah for all the blessings in my life. May happiness, kindness and positivity stick close to me and my loved ones.

Kitchen Talk : Ayam Phadkrapau

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I have been meaning to share this simple how to. How to cook Ayam Phadkrapau, a thai dish. So simple anyone can cook this. Bahan- bahan • Isi ayam cincang • Daun selasih( basil leaves)( preferably thai basil) • Bawang besar Bahan tumbuk/tumis • Bawang putih • Cili padi • Cili besar Sos • Sos ikan • Sos cili • Kicap pekat • Kicap manis • Sos tiram • Gula nissan Cara-cara  1. Tumis bahan tumbuk sampai naik bau 2. Masukkn isi ayam. Kacau2 n lerai2 supaya xketul2 3. Masukkan sos 4. Masukkan bawang besar/sayur kalau ada. Masak sampai all bahan masak. 5. Tutup api, masak daun basil and kacau sampai daun layu Selamat mencuba. Disclaimer: If you all notice I dont have amount measurement in stating the bahan bahan. That is mainly because i always do the agak agak measurement, hence i dont keep track on the measurement. Sorry .😁 👩‍🍳😘