Birthdays are something.

I have always love birthdays

Birthdays of people close to me, darlings to my hearts.

Once the dates mark in my mindmap, they hardly left.

Okai, mayb I missed them when i lost track or time.  As I age, I dont even remember what day i was living in.

Routine sucks.

Anyways, back to birthdays.

On those kind of days,  i ll suddenly remember you. The urge to reach for you to say hi, and let you know I m here even we hardly speak to each other.

Especially to those who left  my frame in not such pretty term.

Especially to those I had to left due to something something, with they knew bout it or without a single clue of why.

I miss you dearly on those day.

I miss how I can casually slip in your  inbox and say unfiltered words.

I miss how I can suddenly kid you without of having the doubt it might hurt or offend you, or make you misunderstood my gesture.

So as much as I love their birthdays, I love my birthday even more.

Its kind of depressing to know how I wish those people to celebrate and remember my birthday.

To mark it special, to actually feels like reaching out to me on that day.

To casually slip in my dull inbox , with wish and confession on how they miss me too.

It is funny enough to actually knowledge it, and way to silly to freely express it here.

I got stupidly jealous over seeing how girl gangs celebrated birthdays, and they make efforts to do so.

Blame social media.LOL

Well, I was always close with boys and they drifted away after.. well you know when.

Leaving me with no crowd.

Trivial. Yeah, I know.

Anyways,

Happy belated Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

And happy Birthday in advance to you.

Believe me, I remember them, I just let passed to protect me, my feeling and my insanity.

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