Link and Labels

I have always love birthdays Birthdays of people close to me, darlings to my hearts. Once the dates mark in my mindmap, they hardly left. Okai, mayb I missed them when i lost track or time.  As I age, I dont even remember what day i was living in. Routine sucks. Anyways, back to birthdays. On those kind of days,  i ll suddenly remember you. The urge to reach for you to say hi, and let you know I m here even we hardly speak to each other. Especially to those who left  my frame in not such pretty term. Especially to those I had to left due to something something, with they knew bout it or without a single clue of why. I miss you dearly on those day. I miss how I can casually slip in your  inbox and say unfiltered words. I miss how I can suddenly kid you without of having the doubt it might hurt or offend you, or make you misunderstood my gesture. So as much as I love their birthdays, I love my birthday even more. Its kind of depressing to know how I wish those people t...

I get fascinated with black color all the time. How did one color can sometimes be seen as gloomy, and sometimes sophisticated? Was it because there is some kind of elegance in every darkness? Was it because is somehow sorrow  defined the beautiful soul? It is the color for lazy day, and also a color fit your grand day. Hence, it is true. You never go wrong with black.

Hey. I did it. I said goodbye. I m gonna laugh really hard, smirk with love, if one day in the future you casually want to be back in my frame of life. You had casually let me out from yours. It hurts me pretty bad. It scars me more than you ever know. I am gonna naturally move on.  I do wish all the best and happiness for you , but more than that I wish one fine day out of nowhere, no reason and no occasion you will suddenly think of me and realized that I cut you  off because you handed me the scissors.

One of the main reason I keep missing my old  me or my old life are probably that was when I dont think much on what other might say or think bout me. Plus, being me is so easy when it is not related to any other people. My action, my choice of words, my choice of outfits  will be all mine and mine alone. Trust me, there will more things I would say if I am on my own. There will be more things I will randomly do just because I want to. Yeah. I am random like that. Because  I am someone's  wife ,I no longer can be some people friends. Because I am someone's  mom ,my choice of outfits have to cater that image. To certain people, that come naturally. To certain people, it is their choice. To other some, their acceptance of adulthood are widely embraced. But not to me. I struggled. I keep conflicting my choice. I unwillingly tolerate , that keep on making me wanting to go back to being the carefree me. Which obviously can only happen in my mind or probably my dream....